But loving me, it’s the most important thing, but yet it’s almost impossible at the same time

When I open my laptop, it begin a new habbit to check about Thai bath into Rupiah currency. Dan ya, ternyata kurs hari ke hari kian naik.

Well, di usiaku 21 tahun menuju 22 tahun ini. And I admit that I have huge ego that I even confused with myself sometimes. So yeah.. I couldn’t do anything much about it.

I know like the wise man said, I should finish myself first, isn’t it? But it’s seems like I need a friend in this long journey. I’m a mess. We’re all, aren't we?.

I began to love myself. It’s easy to love somebody else, the kindness within them. It’s easy to love a baby, or a cat. It’s easy to fall in love with sunset, sunrise, blue sky, even the rain.

But loving me, it’s the most important thing, but yet it’s almost impossible at the same time. People nowdays called it as self-love. But I do not want to make such declaration to the world because this issue already trending topic nowdays. I don’t want to fall into false reason.

It’s the purpose that I looking for. It’s the value that I wanna keep into my life, my character.

That I’m afraid the most is, aku merasa lebih baik dari orang-orang. Lalu terjebak dengan buble yang aku buat sendiri itu. Delusi. Lalu tersadar, tau-tau justru aku yang tertinggal paling belakang.

Bangkok, November 2019.