Nothing to be Compare, We All Just Need Self-Confidence

I remember when I was freshman. There’s so much questions inside my mind that I’m afraid I could explode. But in that time I couldn’t even raise my hand to ask or even speak a word.

I’m kind of little girl in this big world. It’s my first time in my life to live apart with my parents. And my university is kinda big pond that I can drown inside. There’s so many great people and the leader of this country graduated from this university. So, what suppose I do.

And now I realized, I’ve changed so much. That first years seems so so far away now, but actually it’s just 3 years left. And now I ever give a speech in front of hundreds people in my university that I never dare to imagine before.

So. Here’s the little piece that could be my reminder, or might help you in some way.

The environment is uncontrollable, so either we had our own paradigm that can tackle that toxic environment or better to avoid it. It’s up to you to choose the way you growing up.

the most important is self-confident. when you lose sight or belief in yourself, we’re done for. It’s the ability or the belief in yourself, to accomplish any task. no matter the odds, no matter the diffuclty, and no matter the adversity. the belief that you can acomplished, is the self-confidence.

the easiest way to build self-confidence is through repetation, repetation, repetation. Sorry, there’s no magic button.

The problem is, we expect to be self-confident but we can’t be, unless the skill or the task we’re doing is not new to us. We want to be in the situation where we have so much pressure in that. And what I mean is,

People said that pressure builds diamonds. Yes, it’s true but we want to be in a situation where “hey, I’ve done this a thousand times. I can do it”, right?

the problem with repetition is, how many of us bail after the first bit of of failure? How many of us bail after the first bit of adversity?

Look at my fav author J.K Rowling. Do you know how many publishers she took her Harry Potter book to? Her first book refused by 12 publisher!

If I were her, at the first I will pretty confident, but after 2 or 3 of refused I might think “wow that’s bad”. After 6–7 “maybe not my way”

But definitely after 9 untill 10, “Damn! I’m sucks at writing. sucker.” I will looking another job beside an author.

I mean 12 times somebody said no!

But practice. Practice. Practice. And do not give up on failure.

Because maybe the answer is not just in repetition only, maybe the answer should be in persistence.

Because we all repeat something but very few of us really will persist.

So that’s one way to build self-confidence.

Get out there. Do what you wanna do and do not to accept no, do not give up.

Do self-talk, positively. Because I know we all have this tape of negative self-talk that plays in our head (Psst… Especially you, girls).

Convince yourself to be grateful about all what you have now. Nothing to be compared. We all have our own path and destiny.

guess what? There’s enough people that are telling us we can’t do it, that we’re not good enough.

so why do we want to tell ourself that kind of negative word too?

we know for a fact that thoughts influence actions. Dr. Levy in the sheldon’s video showed it.

we need to get our own self-affirmation

Mohammad Ali, we all know his self-affirmation. “I am the greatest”.

If not you. who else that gonna tell you.

There need to be a quite moments in your bedroom. the quite moments when you’re brushing your teeth. That we need to re-affirm. I saw the ted talk from Dr. Ivan Joseph that talked about this issu and his re affirm is:

“I am the captain of my ship and the master of my fate. if I don’t say it, if I don’t believe it. no one else will”

Or you may change it with your own mantra.

How do you built some self-confidence? get away from the people who will tear you down. There’s enough for that. Leave behind all that doesn’t serve your highest good.

That self-talk. There’s difference between hubris, ego, and false pride.

It’s just reminding yourself in quite silent moments.

You’re need to get rid of that negative thought patterns.

And maybe all of us need to put it down on our list and leave it beside in our mirror.

Because I did.

About all the things that make me who I am. Because, I already make enough mistakes. There’s a time when some embarrassment moments that sometimes passing by, or when I’m trying to do the right things, but accidently go to the wrong things.

And the people around me will recognize it. And then it will tear me down. And pretty soon I’ll begin to believe it.

There’s was a time when my confidence was really low. There was a time when I took the job and I don’t know if I could do it.

I had to looked up to my self-confidence letter. A letter I wrote to myself when I was feeling good.

*Alfi, congratulations on getting your dream university. *congratulation on winning a national championship *good job of leading your both academic and non-academic.

And so on.

I wrote a letter to myself, it was my own brag sheet. my own letter about the things I would proud of.

Because there are moments, and we will experience them in our university, in our lives, in our society, in our relationships; when we are not feeling good about who, what, and where we are.

And we had to bring out that letter and read it time and time again, for a period of time, to lead us through that storm.

It was important.

Stop the negative self-talk. I know. Deep down you know you can do it.

We’ll all have it, we place it.

I also believe that we can build self-confidence in others.

We are people who will create value in the world and in doing that, we are critical by nature of what we do.

What can we do?

We can fix mistakes.

Imagine how we could change the way we act in society. Instead of tweeting or mocking someone else in the social media.

it sound simple but we forget about it.

As somebody as a team, if we manage to praise the positive behavior that we wanted to reinforce we will get the unbelievable feedback.

Easily: catch them when they’re good.

Self-confident people interpret feedback.

If I could give you one thing about all of this.

It is: no one will believe in you. Unless you do.

We’re supposed to be different, dear. And when people look at us, remember, just believe in yourself. Nothing to be compared. Now you know all the potential you have.

Now is the time to step it up.

Bangkok, September28th.